Gym Class Hero - NOT (PT 2): I'm On Fire!

Okay, let me start from where I left off yesterday. I now have a trainer.  This is my first day and I'm thinking we, the trainer and I,  are just going to sit down, get to know one another, have a drink and set some goals.  WRONG!  


He tells me there will be a very basic workout today so that he knows where I'm coming from.  Good Lord I could have told him.  I come from nothing.  Well that is a little bit of a lie.  I do practice yoga.  


When he laid out the game plan for today I thought, "No problem." Here is what he had in mind:


  5 minutes on the treadmill (warmup), squats, sit-ups, pushups, chin-ups and I'm done.  


5 minutes on the treadmill was a piece of cake.  I was walking at 3 MPH at a 5% incline.  Not bad.  I'm feeling good!! Then off to the side of the gym, in full view of everyone. Okay, now I'm nervous.  He demonstrates the sit-ups. Legs in butterfly position and all the way back and all the way up.  There is a wedge in place to assist at my backside.  Only 20 right?  Well, 20 felt like 50.  It was harder than I thought it would be. 


Next up squats.  40 of those. Thank goodness the squats came second on the list.  I managed to do those but I think the last...oh...15 were not so good. I'm sure I could have bent my knees a little more but I wanted to be able to stand back upright. My thighs were on fire by the time we got to 10. 


Push-ups?  I don't think I have ever done a "real" push-up.  Ever. This was crazy.  5 push-ups in and my belly drops to the ground as I try to push my body up.  I'm sure it was a sight. Kind of like those horses in the pasture that either aren't taken very good care of or they are a little past their prime or both. I did a little better than I thought. Of course they were "girl" push-ups.  When he mentioned girl push-ups I was a little bit insulted. 


Lastly?  OMG the chin-ups.  He takes me back into the CrossFit room.  Seriously???  I couldn't even finish the warmup from the Insanity program.  It's a DVD program I have at home. At home, sitting on the shelf.  I thought about getting P90X but then pinched myself before I got sucked into the infomercial.   "CrossFit is like P90X on steroids," as the owner explained to me the day before. I couldn't even imagine.  


We are back in the CrossFit room and he is demonstrating how to do a proper chin-up on the bar.  He rethinks this and breaks out this large rubber band.  He loops the band around the bar so that I can use it to help lift me into the air and up above the chin-up bar.  He explains that by putting my foot in the center of the band and crossing my other leg over in the front, the band will support me in such a way that I will be able to pull myself up.  It just reminded me of a huge archaic sling shot used to launch artillery in time of war.  I guess it depends on how you look at it.


"My foot goes where?"  Got that squared away and now the other leg crosses over and up I go.  I did go up but had absolutely no control over which direction.  My leg shot up between his legs.  My god how embarrassing!  I steady myself and pulled up.  I think I even let out a little grunt.  My body went nowhere. I came no closer to the top of the chin-up bar.  The only thing that was closer to anything was my foot to his crotch.  No seriously!


Without a word, he grabs the mother of all rubber bands to help me achieve this goal of getting my chin above the bar.  He's not giving up so I guess I shouldn't either.  This band is about as long as the conveyer belt at Target and as thick the tires on my car.  I drive an Expedition.  It has larger than normal tires.   It was too much.  I almost lost it.  Scary thing was I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.  Now I really have to do it.  


He adjusted the belt and moved out of range, in case the thing catapults me into him or into the next room, and I was in business.  I managed to crank out 2.  Yes, 2.  Better than 0.  


I went home feeling good even though I was a little sore and embarrassed.  The next morning I woke up and thank goodness the bed sits up really high.  I used my agility skills then.  I had to roll myself off of the bed and onto the floor.  I was on my feet, but I didn't think about bending again until going to the bathroom which unfortunately I do every morning.  


Somebody was playing a joke on me.  Someone had lowered the seat.  I had to use my hands on both sides of the seat to help lower me down.  Handle bars that the elderly and disabled use really would have come in handy today.    Thank goodness I brought my cell phone in with me.  Texting or calling for help might be the only option for removal. I did manage to use the walls to help support me.  


For the next 3 days I cursed that trainer as well as cursing myself for not wanting to show any weakness.  I got through it all though :0)  Keep your eye on the prize!

Gym Class Hero, NOT!!

Here I am and I'm just a little bit bigger than I should be.  I finally got fed up. I'm tired of being overweight.  SO tired of it.  I decided to do something.  I needed help.  I started believing that I couldn't do this without some help.  My husband, while supportive of my decision,  didn't share the same goals for himself.  This makes things very, very difficult.  The above picture in particular sent me over the edge.  "Do I really look like this?"  Holy crap what happened???" No, seriously? I know my boobs aren't really that big!  Uhhh, I just measured and yes they are. 


I guess all the margaritas and incredible dinners have finally caught up with me.  It didn't help that I only occasionally walked.  Once in a blue moon.  That was my workout.  I tried to blame all of it on menopause but, ...  that really isn't fair.  It isn't fair at all.  I need to share the blame.  


For 2 weeks I checked out the gyms, trying to decide what to do; so many choices.  Do I choice the closest one or the one that has the most equipment?   Finally, after making a gym decision, I had to decide what to do next. Do I just sign up to use the equipment or do I sign up for a trainer?  I was totally immobilized for a couple of days.  I had to make a decision.  I had to commit to doing this.  I was scared.  What would this mean? No more margaritas or chips?  What about cheese dip?  You think I'm joking?  I'm not :p.  


I took a deep breath and signed.  It all looked perfect. One of the owners let me know I would meet with the clinic and then the trainer.  TRAINER!!  Really?  I had to make appointments for these which I did.


The appointments were back to back; clinic first and then trainer.  The clinic appointment probably wouldn't be so bad except for the stepping on the scale.  The trainer appointment means measurements would be taken.  That, my friends, is embarrassing.  I know what some would say, "Well you got yourself into this mess!  If you would have chosen activity and life opposed to working your day around food and margaritas then you wouldn't be here!"  This is true but not helpful.  


Trainer time!  We sit and talk about goals, diet (Paleo), and then a trial run.  WHAT!  I didn't know I was actually going to do something today.  I thought we were just going to talk.  No really!  I thought the next appointment would be the first workout.  


He tells me there will be a very basic workout so that there is a baseline.  5 minutes on  treadmill, 40 squats, 20 sit-ups, 10 pushups, 10 pull ups and I'm done.  5 minutes on the treadmill was a piece of cake.  I was walking at 3 MPH at a 5% incline.  Not bad.  I'm feeling good!!


Next comes the other stuff...                                  
                                                                           TO BE CONTINUED>>>

My AHH HAA Moment: Post-It Notes

SOooo, I woke up this morning with a game plan: Treadmill for 20, weights for 20, shower, mail, volunteer @ historical society.  Reality bites.  This is what actually happened.

Treadmill for 20.  Well, okay it was close to 20 but more like 10 minutes.   The first 5 minutes of my walk/jog I was occupying my mind with guessing who would come into the bedroom I was in.  See we don't exactly have a workout room. The treadmill, weights, yoga mat, ... share space in the spare bedroom.  The spare bedroom is rarely used by guests so most of the time it is a place to workout. You say,"What's the problem with that?"


Every mom in the world can tell you that when you need to have time for you, it is nearly impossible when you have a husband, kids and pets sharing the house with you. For instance,  when I need to make a call, almost as soon as I get the person on the line that is when the kids and pets argue with one another.  It's almost like a warning shot before a race starts.  If the kids are outside playing then it's the dogs that start going after one another.  You think by now I would make all phone calls in my closet.  


Disturbances, distractions also happen when I need other types of alone time  to read, workout, or meditate.  Working out is the worst time though.  Imagine, you are on a treadmill.  You are jogging on an incline on a treadmill for 5 minutes and suddenly  you hear a knock or the handle vigorously jiggling.  Sometimes I hear my kids try to quietly pry the door open to the bedroom.  What is so stinking important that you just have to come in right now.  This is a pattern.  They do know I am in there.  They also know the standard applies, "Unless there is blood or an obvious broken bone do not come into this room when I am in here."  A door with a lock on it is a necessity for me, but even then what's going on beyond the doors can be a distraction.


 A closed/locked door means nothing to another person  (AHEM husband) who isn't so quiet. When I workout at home I always need to make certain both doors, the one leading into the hall and the one leading into the bedroom (where the treadmill is), are both locked. Why?  My husband will keep trying doors until one pops open. It's nice our guest room has an adjoining bathroom.  It's nice for our guests.  Usually we get guests once every three years or so.  Which brings me back to my bright idea of what a necessity a guest bedroom was. "It will cost a little extra in the long run, for that extra bedroom, but it will be worth it for our guests."  Funny how your perspective changes when reality bites back. Seriously!!

SO when I hear my husband trying the door leading from the bathroom to the bedroom I recognize what I did wrong. My fault for not locking the bathroom door.  Oh wait a minute, I can't lock it from inside the bedroom because there is no lock on this side.  He wins because he can still get in.  SO, when he can't unlock the hallway door, because I can lock that one,  he will knock.  It's like rapid fire knocking. Really!  To get my head back in the game after this in nearly impossible because now I have the dogs to contend with.  Three dogs barking their heads off because they don't realize where the knock is coming from as well as who is doing the knocking.

Door from the hallway with "Do Not Disturb" Post-it 

Then today nothing.  I kept waiting for it but nothing.  Then I really started to get paranoid, took a break and made signs, out of Post-it Notes, letting everyone know not to come in. I now ate up some more of my time being concerned about others taking it away from me.  That was an AHH HAA moment.  Not a soul tried to steal my time.  Today my distractions were all in my head.  

Door from bathroom to bedroom with "Do Not Disturb" Post-It

I walk out of the room, sit in my chair to go through emails I need to respond to.  All 3 dogs are nearby.  The puppy, now 9 months, is using the older dog as a chew toy.  No really, it's pitiful.  She drags him around by either his collar or his neck.  The bigger dog comes over to me wanting a little attention.  She trys to put her nose under my arm, lifting my arm up to initiate a petting.  I begin to pet her and along comes the puppy. The oldest dog flies up into the chair next to me.  He is shaking and his eye is draining.  He has Horner's Syndrome.  Poor baby.  The vet assures me he isn't in pain but he is quite a sight.  


Shower and off the the Historical Society for 3 hours.  I love going there, helping to document history. So much to pour through and piece together.  After I leave at 12 it's  lunch and then home to wrap things up for the day.  You know the usual phone calls and bills to pay.  Before I know it the clock says,"Time for dinner."

More Than Just Yoga

Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday mornings I try to devote yoga.   I really look forward to it and after a little over 6 months, my body actually craves it.  The days I can't make it to class I practice at home but it is not the same for me.  I need the intermingling of other energy with my own.  I need the personalized instruction and insight. You cannot get that from a DVD.   So for me it's more than just stretching, it's a spiritual practice.  This is my time to check-in with myself.  It is my time to erase the board and start over.  I am able to focus on who I am instead of my disjointed and irrational perception of me. I feel more grounded, more sure of myself.  The instructors have an uncanny way of knowing what each of the students need during class; the poses we require, the words our heart needs to take in.  When I leave class I feel as if I've been rebooted.  Not only does my physical body feel better by working hard but my intellectual self feels more rested and powerful. I walk out of there with the "I can handle anything!" attitude.  It is important to feel unshakable.  Then when bad stuff starts happening it is not so bad.  If you believe in your own power you can handle anything :)
Namaste