Is It Just Me?

Yes!! I did it!  Always knew I could.

I know it's all a part of the journey but ... don't you wish at times you could pick out the frustrating lessons of life and recycle them.  Why not give them to more worthy individuals? If everyone would just behave and do what they are supposed to do we wouldn't have these problems.  We wouldn't need jails. No really?!!  Why should someone else's shortcomings fall on my family's shoulders.  Let me breakdown the recent weight of the world.

First there is school.  Both my daughter's and son's schools have a problem with communication.  Let me begin by saying I like my daughter's and son's schools. I like the administration and I like the teachers.  They all seem to be personable and nice enough.  Personable and nice enough in person.


 Generally speaking, it seems as if my daughter's and son's needs are being met.  She really doesn't have many needs aside from a little extra help in reading.  She manages to always stay motivated, even when things were not going so well.  They weren't going so well last year and the year before.  Teachers couldn't offer up any other options to increase her comprehension.  At the school she is at now, they have other options. This is awesome! 


What she doesn't lack, some of her teachers do.   Motivation is a problem for some of her teachers.  You can throw some of my son's teachers in there as well.  These teachers do not seem to be motivated in the area of communication.  That is, responding to communication from me.  I'm a little disturbed by this.  I need clarification and I need it pronto.  I don't know how long the "issue" has been going on so I need for the teachers to respond to my questions/statements within a reasonable amount of time.  I'm usually good with a few days.  I understand they are not just waiting for me to email them so that they can respond.  They have a thousand and one things to do.  Well, so do I!  Communication with the parents should come in second, right behind teaching.  If a teacher doesn't communicate what is going on,  then parent doesn't know.  If it's a parent like me they will either assume the worst or just want clarification so they don't assume the worst.  If they need to they try another route to get what they need.  What I need are answers.

Award's Day

 Comprehension isn't my daughter's strong suit.  If there is a comprehension  "issue" it needs to be addressed in a timely matter because the class will move onto the next standard or subject.  How will negating my email  help my daughter who struggles with comprehension?  It puts her behind the 8 ball.  She will be left behind which will leave her frustrated and eventually less motivated.

This Certificate of Achievement Is Stupid

My son has motivation issues himself but he is a freshman in high school.  He is not an adult nor a teacher.  He claims his "issues" are that he needs to be in all advanced classes.  "The classes are too easy and I get bored.  I don't hand things in when I should or do them when I should because I don't care.  I am bored."  Really.  Wow!  My response was, "Sorry, you have to do the work or you'll end up being 30 and working at Dairy Queen.  If that is your goal in life so be it.  That is your choice." At least I know where he sits with all of this.  


Emails to his teachers are to voice concern so that maybe they can talk to him.  They might be able to say something that will snap him out of it.  I can always pray for that lightbulb moment. The switch can't be flipped on if there is no switch.  I'm not getting anywhere when I email some of his teachers because they aren't motivated enough to respond.

What Just Happened

SOOO Close!

Moving on to sports.  Both of my kids have always played sports.  They need an outside activity.  We live in the burbs and it's either a playing a musical instrument or sports.  Sports it is!  


They have played all types of sports.  Currently, I coordinate games for my son's high school team.  I am in touch with the coaches in the league to figure out who we should play and when.  The less experienced teams we should play first.  This makes the most sense because many of our kids are new to the sport.  We need time to develop our team and we can only do that by playing not by getting creamed.  


When I first started speaking with the coaches, to schedule games,  I thought they were being honest.  I believed them when they said 1/2 of their team is new to the sport and 1/2 of their team have some experience.  This hasn't proved to be correct yet.  I know. I know.   Honestly,  I think I'm a little too naive.  Why would a coach lie to me though? I didn't lie to them.   Why would a coach say their team and our team would be evenly matched when they know that isn't the case?  Are they in it for the win?  Looks like it to me.  What is this teaching the kids?  What is this teaching adults?  Domination is a good thing.  That's just life.  Winning is the most important thing.  Do whatever it takes to win because that is the name of the game.


Nice, huh?? Okay, I need a glass of wine. It after 4:00 pm somewhere.  What's wrong with a glass or two after 12?




Is it just me?

Are You Talkin' To ME!!

It's Amazing!!

It's truly amazing how a shift in perspective can change your outlook on the moment.  My son loves watching sports on TV.  He loves engaging me in conversation about what he watches.  This is really not my cup of tea.  On the other hand, it is my son and what he gets excited about interests me.

From a young age he has not only wanted to watch football on TV but also play football.  This to me was disturbing.  When he was 8 and 9 years old he would ask that question knowing what my answer would be.  I thought he was just to young and my husband didn't push the issue.  It just wasn't a big deal.  He did other things though.

He tried his hand at soccer, gymnastics, tennis, soccer, among other things.  Yes, I mentioned soccer twice because he played when he was little then took some time off to pursue other activities.  Later when he was 10 he returned to it.  By the time he was 12 he encountered a coach with a loosing team.  The coach himself was down about it and I believe because of this let the team down. By the end of that last season,  I don't think there was a kid on the team that wanted to be there. During the game I would look over at the coach and there he was distanced from the team with his head in his hands.  What kind of a message does that send?

When the spring soccer season came to a close my son was glad and promised not to play soccer again.  That's when he started tip toeing around the idea of playing football.  By this time he was one of the bigger kids.  He was tall for his age and of medium build.  This time I said,"Okay."  I knew I had to give him that chance.  He did need a change.

Conditioning for football season began in July and the first game was at the end of August.  That week of training was rough on him but he hung in there.  Practices began the next week.  He had practice 3 days a week.  Two of those practices were in full pads and helmet.  It was crazy hot.  He didn't complain though.  He didn't complain until he realized that maybe this football thing isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

One of the drills involved two players lying helmet to helmet on the ground with their knees bent.  The coach would yell,"One, two, three go!"  At that point the two players would jump up and run toward each other full force.  You would hear the crunching of the helmets.  I couldn't bear to watch but to listen to it was worse. Also I couldn't comprehend what the players could be learning from this.  After the first time I could tell my son wanted to be a part of this as much as he wanted to walk into a room filled with spiders.  He's really not an aggressive kid.  This went so much against his nature that I would watch him do what he could to avoid that kind of rough contact.

 Some of the players were thirsty for it though.  They were "good" players but that instinct is what made them good.  After my son's turn at this game of torture, he would slide to the back of the line and do what he could to make certain that he stayed at the back of the line.  Several times I watched this happen and surprisingly he started making excuses as to why he couldn't go to practice that day or why he didn't want to play in the game.

Also, once again the experience he had with coaches wasn't the best.  Promises were made but there wasn't any follow-thru.  In the end he basically lost respect for men he should be able to trust.  I am glad he went through what he did.  Quite frankly, that was his path.  He needed to find out on his own that a change was needed and along the way he learned to trust his instincts.

At this point I don't even think he wanted to play another sport but he kept his mind open.  I started researching to see what else was available at the same time throwing options out to him and asking him his thoughts.  I asked about baseball and he immediately said no.  I was kind of glad because I don't know that would have been a good fit.  Then I mentioned basketball.  He plays basketball in the neighborhood with his friend and enjoys it.  Some of the other kids have remarked that he plays well.  He's tall so I thought this would be a good solution.

                                                       "NO MOM," was the response I got.
How could that be, I thought.  I ran down the checklist in my head and everything seemed good.  He later informed me that he just liked to play but didn't want to play on a "team."  Okay, I understood the logic.  If he's just playing then there isn't any stress.  If he misses a shot, no big deal.
 
                                                        "What about cross country?"

I watched him run laps with the rest of his team out on the football field. He was usually 2nd or 3rd in line.  He was able to endure the run because he was able to control his speed.  He was mature enough to know how to come in 2nd or 3rd.
                                                      "NO MOM," was the response I got.

                                                       "Why not?"

                                                     "I don't like running."

Okay, once again I get it.  I don't like running either.  What's left?

W

I could actually see a change in my son's attitude.  He liked the game.  Even when he found out that his younger friend would be playing in a different age bracket he was still okay.  Normally something like this would rock his world.  Not this time.  That's when I knew we were on the right track.  So far he doesn't check the weather to see whether or not there is a potentiall for practice or a game to be rained out.  He's ready to go to practice and actually practices on his own from time to time.  When his dad asked him if liked lacrosse better than football he didn't really answer directly but instead said,                               "It's a game with more strategy.  You definitely use your head more." It is amazing because that is the first time he has given positive feedback about a sport/activity he has been involved in.

The game of lacrosse isn't nearly as nonviolent as I thought.  It's amazing what you can get away with in lacrosse.  It's a good thing they are pretty well padded because there are few places on the body they aren't allowed to attack with the stick.  They wear helmets but at least they are not doing that senseless drill where they try to knock each others heads off or at least crack their skulls.  Maybe they were just doing a helmet check football style.

It's amazing how when you are open to change, you can change your world.