I Love Fall!!

For me there is nothing like the heart of fall. I love being in the middle of it.  Here in Georgia fall doesn't last long enough for me.  Right now, in this brief period of time, is when I take the time to reflect and make changes.  Sometimes it means starting over. I like to take the time to see what is working in my life and what isn't.  I also look at what can I do something about and what doesn't need as much of my attention. This helps me grow.  It's kind of like weeding the garden.  Every once in a while things get overgrown, or out of control.  All I have to do is take the time to take a look.  What is weighing me down?  What have I been putting off?  Have I paid enough attention to my spiritual life, my husband, my kids, my pets, my family and friends?  Do I need to make some changes?  Do some relationships need work and do other relationships not require so much work?  Am I focusing on the right things? What is really important?  Some really deep questions but really only one question really needs to be asked and then everything else will fall into place.  Am I doing things from a place of love, happiness and joy?  If I am not then maybe I no longer need to be doing it.  I wish I could apply this to the laundry, cleaning up dog messes, kids messes, my messes, ... 

Who Am I?

Interestingly my last blog has parlayed into today.  Yesterday I spoke of a mid-life crisis, not mine mind you,  and finding yourself.  You have a crisis because you don't know who you are and you begin your search. This I already went through about 4 years ago.   


Today began like any other Friday.  I woke, fixed breakfast,  got the kids off to school and then headed to yoga. Bruce, our yoga instructor, ended class today with a meditation. As most meditations do, we were reflecting on ourselves.  As we were in savasana or "corpse pose" he asked us to think of all of those things that make up who you are. He wanted us to make a list in our heads. "Okay, once you are finished with that then think of all of the things that you do." Okay, that was pretty simple yet extensive.  Now I knew where he was headed with this. I was ready for the next question.  Then he asked, "Okay, now who are you?"


   I thought I had this in the bag.  I have been studying this for a while, reflecting for a while.  I know that I am not defined by what I do or the labels that I or others put on me.  While I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother, aunt, teacher, taxi driver, soccer mom, lacrosse mom, volunteer, and the list goes on, just like yours does, that is not who I truly am.  Those are things I am involved in, born into, married into, ... but that isn't who I am.  


Saying it is the easy part.  It makes perfect sense. I read Eckhart Tolle's books as well as a couple by Gary Zukav.  In these books they discuss this very thing.  I also get "lining your soul up with your soul's needs."  I do understand that but at times it is hard to take it to heart.  It is hard to look at your life and make those changes. Those changes usually are not easy ones. You see your life headed in one direction and you want it to go in another or you try to maintain who you are in the eyes of others but in the end you will loose the struggle.  The things in our life that do not belong there will eventually go away.  Nothing, in my eyes, is permanent. 


As my parents said to me when I was growing up,"We can either do this the easy way or the hard way." The more you fight the stuff you don't want the more it will pop up in your life. The more you deny your authentic self the more of a struggle you will have.This was awesome until I really started feeling it.  I mean really feeling it. This is also another benefit to yoga.  For me it's not just about the poses, it's about the reflection. For me it is therapy. 


During this meditation I really began to get upset on the inside.  The emotions of the morning had settled into my soul. My coordinating efforts for the school book fair weren't enough, my daughter reminded me that I didn't make it to the store yesterday so she didn't have a bagel to eat this morning, the laundry is still laying in the bedroom from the day before, I didn't make those phone calls, get those donations in, put that load of laundry in, ...  Pretty soon in my head I am a complete failure.  


My physical body reminded me that I need to get rid of all of the garbage, negative talk,  so I started crying on the inside and slowly the tears appeared on the outside.  My physical body gave my spiritual body what it needed, a good flushing out.  I tried to dry my tears as best as I could before class ended because heaven knows I can't appear weak in yoga class. As you can read I am still learning. 


 As I got up to leave the room, we continued the conversation into the foyer.   I felt, if only for a brief minute or two,  that we are all one.  The energy in the room let me know that they were thinking the same thing I was.  We all struggle, we all have power, and we have free will.  A chance to begin again:) A new day! 

More Than Just Yoga

Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday mornings I try to devote yoga.   I really look forward to it and after a little over 6 months, my body actually craves it.  The days I can't make it to class I practice at home but it is not the same for me.  I need the intermingling of other energy with my own.  I need the personalized instruction and insight. You cannot get that from a DVD.   So for me it's more than just stretching, it's a spiritual practice.  This is my time to check-in with myself.  It is my time to erase the board and start over.  I am able to focus on who I am instead of my disjointed and irrational perception of me. I feel more grounded, more sure of myself.  The instructors have an uncanny way of knowing what each of the students need during class; the poses we require, the words our heart needs to take in.  When I leave class I feel as if I've been rebooted.  Not only does my physical body feel better by working hard but my intellectual self feels more rested and powerful. I walk out of there with the "I can handle anything!" attitude.  It is important to feel unshakable.  Then when bad stuff starts happening it is not so bad.  If you believe in your own power you can handle anything :)
Namaste

Trusting Your Instincts

I just got back from a very powerful workshop on trusting your intuition. How do we know when we should trust how we feel about a person or situation? Thinking of trust reminded be of the Angel Oak Tree in South Carolina. This was one place I wanted to go to go on our short trip. As a matter of fact I felt drawn to it and I'm ever so grateful we made the time to go. Angel Oak is reportedly over 1000 years old. Until visiting I didn't really know what it felt like to be 100% sure of something. The Angel Oak was strong, seemingly indestructible, and yet very comforting. My instincts that said I needed to go visit this magical place were correct. We either choose to trust our intuition or we do not. We make a decision at that point to either agree to continue in the direction we are headed or we decide to do something differently. How do we know we have made the right decision? There are many clues that help us along the way but we must choose to recognize and accept those gentle, and sometimes forceful, nudges we get. You know what is best for you but you cannot live your life solely by that. If you have been given hints along the way but chose to ignore them then that is your choice and you have chosen your path. It is yet another life lesson you need to learn. After tonight's workshop I got the message that I need to trust people less and investigate more. I investigate everything else. Why would I chose to accept everything someone tells me? If I did choose to investigate and the information was not what I expected, nor wanted, what would I do with this revelation? Maybe that is the issue for me. If the information was damaging to my impression of the person would I use that information or discard it? The information does not change but sometimes my perspective does. I need to open myself up for options. We should all learn to use the tools we have available to us. These tools help us make wise choices because these choices ultimately affect our life. These choices easily lead us down our path or lead us to another life lesson. Everyone has life lesson(s) and the sooner we learn them the easier life becomes. That is how we learn and grow and grow and grow.