Ghostly Father's Day

Father's Day can be a bit daunting, with regards to finding something for my husband; gifts you can open.   I struggle with this because I don't really believe in giving someone a gift just to give a gift. That bothers me.  It's also difficult to do when you live a life like we do.  If you can afford clothing whenever you need it, or most anything for that matter, then why wait to buy.  That is my husband's philosophy.  I agree with part of that.  If I truly need something, I will go and get it.  


I am very grateful that we live a comfortable life.  I couldn't even imagine not having the basics.  We are very fortunate.  Unfortunately though this quality of lifestyle makes it difficult to find my husband gifts for the major events: his birthday (which now we've deemed a celebration of life and not a number), our anniversary, Christmas and Father's day.  If you can buy whatever you need and most of what you want what's left to give as a gift?  Not much.  Not much especially if your significant other doesn't really have any hobbies outside of watching his kids play sports and doing things with his family.  VERY commendable but, ...


I love him dearly but he is difficult to buy for.  Very difficult.  This year I have been stumped.  His celebration of life day was in May. I'll omit the number now.   For that he unwrapped an iPad, along with several other smaller gifts. Next comes Father's Day,  June 17th.  So I feel it is my duty to come up with just the right gifts in a very short amount of time.  


Half of the year I racked my brain trying to figure out what to get him for Father's Day.  Something unusual.  Pondering what he likes led me to Waverly Hills; Waverly Hills is in Louisville, Ky.  It is a sanatorium no longer in use.  Yes, it's haunted and they have tours.  Actually they have a variety of tours to choose from.  Some of these you spend the night.  The only problem is Waverly Hills is in Ky and we are in Ga.  We have family in Louisville but won't  be visiting for a few more weeks.  Thank God that didn't pan out.  I would hate to have to send him there by himself but, ...


How about a ghost tour here?  There were a couple tours here that I checked into.  One was in Decatur and the other in Roswell.  Roswell was closer to Canton but no tour on Sunday. I signed us up for a tour the Friday before.  We were all set.  


The kids knew but didn't say a word.  They were awesome about it.  I have a feeling though that even thinking about it would make it real so they opted out of that.  They never said they were scared but my 12 year old daughter kept asking those little questions like,"Are we going to see ghosts?" and "Do we go on the tour when it is dark?"  My son didn't really say anything except,"I'm not scared."  He's 15.


We left Friday around 6 PM for dinner.  We ate at a (surprise, surprise) Mexican restaurant in Roswell. Pretty good food and excellent margaritas :0).  Yes, margaritas.  After all, we are going on a ghost tour; nothing wrong with a little liquid courage! Finally we let Dad take a couple of stabs at figuring out why we were on this side of town.  Finally the flashlight clue gave it away.  He guessed one of his gifts.  Away we went.


The tour lasted 2 hours.  A lot of history, picture taking, and possibilities.  We only had a few paranormal events.  I heard careful whispers and my son witnessed the flicker of a street light.  After returning home, my husband was quick to download his pics and videos.  He thought he saw something in a couple of pictures.  According to the Roswell Ghost Tour people, they were probably nothing.  It did get my husband thinking though.  


We all had a great time and Father's Day was true to celebrating what Father's Day is all about. 

My AHH HAA Moment: Post-It Notes

SOooo, I woke up this morning with a game plan: Treadmill for 20, weights for 20, shower, mail, volunteer @ historical society.  Reality bites.  This is what actually happened.

Treadmill for 20.  Well, okay it was close to 20 but more like 10 minutes.   The first 5 minutes of my walk/jog I was occupying my mind with guessing who would come into the bedroom I was in.  See we don't exactly have a workout room. The treadmill, weights, yoga mat, ... share space in the spare bedroom.  The spare bedroom is rarely used by guests so most of the time it is a place to workout. You say,"What's the problem with that?"


Every mom in the world can tell you that when you need to have time for you, it is nearly impossible when you have a husband, kids and pets sharing the house with you. For instance,  when I need to make a call, almost as soon as I get the person on the line that is when the kids and pets argue with one another.  It's almost like a warning shot before a race starts.  If the kids are outside playing then it's the dogs that start going after one another.  You think by now I would make all phone calls in my closet.  


Disturbances, distractions also happen when I need other types of alone time  to read, workout, or meditate.  Working out is the worst time though.  Imagine, you are on a treadmill.  You are jogging on an incline on a treadmill for 5 minutes and suddenly  you hear a knock or the handle vigorously jiggling.  Sometimes I hear my kids try to quietly pry the door open to the bedroom.  What is so stinking important that you just have to come in right now.  This is a pattern.  They do know I am in there.  They also know the standard applies, "Unless there is blood or an obvious broken bone do not come into this room when I am in here."  A door with a lock on it is a necessity for me, but even then what's going on beyond the doors can be a distraction.


 A closed/locked door means nothing to another person  (AHEM husband) who isn't so quiet. When I workout at home I always need to make certain both doors, the one leading into the hall and the one leading into the bedroom (where the treadmill is), are both locked. Why?  My husband will keep trying doors until one pops open. It's nice our guest room has an adjoining bathroom.  It's nice for our guests.  Usually we get guests once every three years or so.  Which brings me back to my bright idea of what a necessity a guest bedroom was. "It will cost a little extra in the long run, for that extra bedroom, but it will be worth it for our guests."  Funny how your perspective changes when reality bites back. Seriously!!

SO when I hear my husband trying the door leading from the bathroom to the bedroom I recognize what I did wrong. My fault for not locking the bathroom door.  Oh wait a minute, I can't lock it from inside the bedroom because there is no lock on this side.  He wins because he can still get in.  SO, when he can't unlock the hallway door, because I can lock that one,  he will knock.  It's like rapid fire knocking. Really!  To get my head back in the game after this in nearly impossible because now I have the dogs to contend with.  Three dogs barking their heads off because they don't realize where the knock is coming from as well as who is doing the knocking.

Door from the hallway with "Do Not Disturb" Post-it 

Then today nothing.  I kept waiting for it but nothing.  Then I really started to get paranoid, took a break and made signs, out of Post-it Notes, letting everyone know not to come in. I now ate up some more of my time being concerned about others taking it away from me.  That was an AHH HAA moment.  Not a soul tried to steal my time.  Today my distractions were all in my head.  

Door from bathroom to bedroom with "Do Not Disturb" Post-It

I walk out of the room, sit in my chair to go through emails I need to respond to.  All 3 dogs are nearby.  The puppy, now 9 months, is using the older dog as a chew toy.  No really, it's pitiful.  She drags him around by either his collar or his neck.  The bigger dog comes over to me wanting a little attention.  She trys to put her nose under my arm, lifting my arm up to initiate a petting.  I begin to pet her and along comes the puppy. The oldest dog flies up into the chair next to me.  He is shaking and his eye is draining.  He has Horner's Syndrome.  Poor baby.  The vet assures me he isn't in pain but he is quite a sight.  


Shower and off the the Historical Society for 3 hours.  I love going there, helping to document history. So much to pour through and piece together.  After I leave at 12 it's  lunch and then home to wrap things up for the day.  You know the usual phone calls and bills to pay.  Before I know it the clock says,"Time for dinner."

"The Office," in Remembrance

One of my favorite TV shows is "The Office." I know what you're thinking, "What does she know about what goes on in an office?" but I do. As a matter of fact, they could have filmed "The Office" episodes at my office, the office I worked at about 14 years ago before my STH (Stay-at-home) status.

At my office the cast of "The Office"  characters are all there. Thinking back it would have been ridiculously obvious, but I would presume to say that most offices are like that and that is what makes this show a success.  I really get a kick out of watching and reminiscing.  The interactions and mischief is a little over the top but imaginable.  In my office, I was the silent observer for the most part because I really wouldn't know what to say.  Watching that is like watching a train wreck. You know you really shouldn't watch because it is mindless and/or someone might get hurt, yet on the other hand you can't help yourself. Rubbernecking is also a dangerous enterprise.

My husband works in an office and I thought he would think it was hysterical but I don't think he gets nearly the kick out of it that I do. Maybe that is because he is too close to the fire. Maybe he's trying to forget or he's better about avoiding the train wreck! We still enjoy watching the show.

Just the other night my family and I were out having some pizza when in walked Dwight.  Well, not exactly because he was 20 years older!  I felt like asking if he was related because the similarities were startling.  My husband and I could hardly contain ourselves. A 50 something Dwight Schrute! Now how funny would that be? Later, we get home and my son says,"Hey, did you see that guy who looked exactly like Dwight from "The Office" only he was older?"

A Balancing Act

Yesterday was progress report day.  One of our kids brought home his progress report and knew he would be in trouble because of what the report showed, no progress. He was in a horrible mood then and woke up in a horrible mood.  


That morning the way he left for school didn't sit well with my husband.  My husband isn't used to seeing the kids off to school.   By the time they are ready to head out the door he is long gone and almost to the office.  He has missed the hugs and the "I love you and have a good day" departures but he has also missed the tears, the frustration and the indifferent attitudes.  I've become pretty good at letting that stuff roll because it is a quick process.  Usually when they decide to get upset it is right before they walk out the door to go to school.  I also do not seem to have a problem with getting drawn into a situation already in existence.  If my husband and son are sorting through things and it begins to get heated I can assist but I've  realized that it has nothing to do with me. It will be okay.  My husband, on the other hand, takes it to heart which changes his mood.  When my son left down in the dumps on that morning he took my husband with him.  I hate seeing that.  My hope is that someday both of them will learn to recognize that they are responsible for how they feel.  Then I hope to realize that I am responsible for how I feel too.


I am the resident Libra and my role is to make certain everyone is in good spirits.   I can't help myself.  I don't like  to see anyone unhappy for any reason.  I also don't like it when there is conflict.  I try to do my part in dispersing the conflict but sometimes that doesn't happen.  Okay, if I really want to be honest there aren't many times that that happens.  


I would like to be brave enough someday to conduct an experiment. What would happen if I handled the conflict differently?  Right now what happens is I begin to feel the situation shift into an unknown area.  I don't necessarily know where its going.  What if I said to myself,"Okay, things are out of control but it doesn't involve me."  If I could just get a handle on being okay with feeling that things  are in a jumble and it's still okay.  To me it isn't appropriate.  I need to validate my own feelings.  I validate everyone else's feelings so why not my own?  

I Love Fall!!

For me there is nothing like the heart of fall. I love being in the middle of it.  Here in Georgia fall doesn't last long enough for me.  Right now, in this brief period of time, is when I take the time to reflect and make changes.  Sometimes it means starting over. I like to take the time to see what is working in my life and what isn't.  I also look at what can I do something about and what doesn't need as much of my attention. This helps me grow.  It's kind of like weeding the garden.  Every once in a while things get overgrown, or out of control.  All I have to do is take the time to take a look.  What is weighing me down?  What have I been putting off?  Have I paid enough attention to my spiritual life, my husband, my kids, my pets, my family and friends?  Do I need to make some changes?  Do some relationships need work and do other relationships not require so much work?  Am I focusing on the right things? What is really important?  Some really deep questions but really only one question really needs to be asked and then everything else will fall into place.  Am I doing things from a place of love, happiness and joy?  If I am not then maybe I no longer need to be doing it.  I wish I could apply this to the laundry, cleaning up dog messes, kids messes, my messes, ...