RoadTrip: It's Christmastime!

It's Christmastime!  Time for the family dynamics to really kick into full force.  All bets are off for usual behavior.

This trip up north, to visit the family during Christmas, was a little longer than usual.   As soon as we pull out of the driveway the sky opens up.  It doesn't stop raining until we pull up into my parent's driveway 7 hours later.  To aide in the headache, it now gets dark around 5:15.  I do love winter solstice but I don't enjoy driving in it.  I'm  driving solo this year.  My husband had back survey almost two weeks ago and isn't supposed to be lifting anything nor is he allowed to drive.  I do not mind that part.  Since I'm in control we can make as many stops as we need to and I can pick the place we stop at.  If he were driving we would do a drive by restroom break but only after trying to get as far as we can before someone pops. Due to the rain, my husband wasn't taking his much needed breaks. He thought he was going to melt so didn't bother to get out of the car.  By the time we arrived at our destination,  he was a pretzel and we were all having issues.

At the beginning of the trip,  kids are in the back seats getting along.  Wow they are getting along so well and it helps for everyone to be plugged into some device.   As I'm driving I realize that my parents really did have a rough go of it on trips.  There wasn't an iPod or portable DVD player to plug into.  They had to listen to a lot more of  "I'm not touching you."  "Stop it!  Mom, tell him to stop it."  Mom would say,"Just ignore it!"   Little did she know how hard that was.  Dad would sound off the usual, "Don't make me turn this car around!"Little of that goes on in our car.

I do remember a time when dad bought a black and white tv that was meant for travel. It came with an adaptor of sorts that plugged into the cigarette lighter.  It had the rabbit ears too.  Yes, we would bend the ears around until we could get a glimmer of something through the snow on the screen. Eventually we just gave up and reverted back to the "I'm not touching you" game.

The station wagon we traveled in, back in the day, had the fake wood paneling on the sides.  We had a "way back" which was a metal box with a seat.  No seat belts in the way back.  If the vehicle had to stop really fast I would imagine that we would have easily been sliced in half. The bench seat right behind the front seats could be laid down flat so the entire back was a bed.  We would lay blankets down and sleep and slide around as Dad rounded corners.

These days everyone has to be strapped in tight. No roaming kids or kids in the front seats.  The only thing I remember not liking is the fact that bathrooms were few and far between and so was food.  We would get a couple hours from home and I would start the pee pee dance while sitting.  You know the dance.  You try to cross your legs as tight as you can to hold everything in until the next stop.  No sudden moves please!

Disney Part 3: We Are Officially Smoking

They weren't very excited about where we were until they really thought about why we in Florida.  We were going to Orlando-  Disney World!!  We thought we were awesome parents.  After hearing them moan and grown about not being able to go we were here.  No longer did my husband and I have to listen to " Well (so and so) is getting to go to Disney World and SeaWorld.  They have been there a bunch of times."  I think they were in shock that we were here.  We were here!

We find the management office where we check in.  No problem.   They were very nice and polite.  Pleased that everything was working out splendidly,  we hopped back into the van to make the trip to the condo. That's when the fun stopped. We are, at this point, so tired from the trip and helplessly dependent on HER.  You know HER.  Most of us have one that we use.  Yours might be a man but ours is female.  I'm talking about the GPS.   We begin our journey, our seemingly endless journey.  Our destination is right around the corner.

Along the way I keep thinking, "I've seen that building before.  Where have I seen that building?" The reason I thought I had seen that building before is because I HAD.  We were going in circles.  At first they were large circles and then they became smaller and smaller. It got to the point, after seeing "The Big Orange" for the 4th, yes 4th, time it became a joke.  We dubbed this convenience store "The Big Orange" because there was a big orange on top of the building.  I sure wish I would have snapped a picture of that place. It was quite the landmark, in more ways than one.

After several circles I couldn't stop the tears.  It became quite comical.   My belly and mouth were hurting from laughing so much.  Amazingly, after 323 circles, we pulled into the complex.  No need to ask for directions!  Who needs directions when you have such a fine piece of ____ electronic that would feed directions to you, any way you wanted.   I'm thinking that if we would have asked for directions from a human being, we wouldn't have had to make so many circles.  Well at least we now have the lay of the land.

We park the van and start to unload.  We are tired but eager to see where we would be staying for the next week.  From the outside it looked nice.  It was very beachy looking.  I do like the word so don't fault me for my adjectives.  As we opened the van doors the fun started.  My husband grabbed a couple of bags as well as  the key to our home for a week.  He unlocked the door as we are hit in the face with a stench that could only be one thing, smoke.  then it hit us.  It wasn't just a little smoke it was a wall of smoke.  Had we stood back from the door far enough we probably would have seen rolling out of the unit.

It wasn't just in the foyer, it was all through the unit.  All 5 rooms and 2 bathrooms!  No amount of fresh air and ceiling fan was going to take care of this.  If we were smokers we wouldn't have needed to light up.  We aren't smokers.  We are nonsmokers who requested a nonsmoking room.  UGH!!!!

We had to get out of that place!  We were tired and hungry.  Since we had to take ventilation of the condo into our own hands,  before we rested our weary bodies, we decided we needed to refuel.  Off to get some dinner.

It's nice that we got a lay of the land EARLIER but that didn't help in our quest for food.  The reason it didn't help is because we wanted Mexican.  Did we pass a Mexican restaurant in our hunt for smoke, no we didn't.  We had to ask HER for help again.  I said a little prayer.  Eventually we did find an awesome Mexican restaurant that we went back to later that week.

After dinner it was time to find a Target.  Nothing else will do especially when needing to purchase household items.  We had to invest in something to take care of the smokers paradise. Back in the day, finding any kind of store other than a convenience store, would be a challenge.  Lucky for me, Targets are everywhere.  Praise God!  We found one.

Now that we are all worked up,  my husband was on a mission.  Look out!  I love my husband to death but sometimes he goes into overkill mode when shopping for something.  Notice I said thing as in one item.  Don't get me wrong, my husband is very helpful.  He has been known to go to the store for me which is awesome.  If I were to say," Could you stop at the store and pickup a package of hotdogs?"  he is all over it.  In fact, he would come home with 10 packages of hotdogs.  Of those 10 packages 5 are different brands and 5 are different types.  "Why?" you say. I don't know.  Either there are too many choices or he wants to find the perfect hotdog.

Anyway,  on to find the perfect stinky air corrector.  2 hours later and we are done.  We come out of Target with solid freshener, spray freshener and deodorizer.  I thought to myself, here we go.  $20 on fresheners.  Apparently I didn't realize that the smell would reappear each day and the $20 was well spent.  Way to go honey!!    Any time we left the condo, we would have to spray again.  It became as automatic as filling up the washing machine with detergent or brushing your teeth before you go to bed or putting clothes on before you go outside.  You wouldn't think of going to your mailbox nude would you?   There was a solid freshener in every room, 6 fresheners in all.  We used the sprays as backups and the deodorizers to spray our clothes. All completely necessary.  Sorry for the doubt in my voice earlier.

When we returned home to Atlanta, and I opened my suitcase, the smoke had followed me home. There wasn't an article of clothing that didn't reek.   I was officially smoking :0) 

Dinsey Part 2: Best Laid Plans

Okay, I have to say the funniest thing about this trip to Disney was the car ride to Disney.  My husband and I agreed that we would do our best so that this would be a total surprise for the kids.  It's not often you can pull one over on a 10 and 14 year-old.  I did my best to keep my research, notes, ... hidden and the computer's history wiped clean.

The kids already started asking about going to visit their Grandparents in Kentucky over the break.  They really look forward to seeing everyone but especially paying a visit to indiscretion,  the convenience store.  During a fuel stop they are allowed to select some junk food.  They may pick something sweet and something salty along with a soft drink of choice.  This only happens on trips like this.    They were pretty excited.  They were also excited their Dad was coming along too.  Usually Daddy doesn't get to make the spring break trip to Louisville.

It was countdown to Kentucky for the kids and countdown to Disney for me. 2 weeks away!  It's hard being sneaky. I'm not good at it.  This would be highly commendable in most situations but not while you are trying to pull one over on your kids. Every time I stopped using electronic,  I had to make certain I cleared the history on the mac, the iPad and my iPhone, as well as phone calls and texts.   That was hard enough to remember. I took extra caution to burn all of my notes.

It's Saturday the first official morning of Spring Break.  It's  6AM. We told the kids we wanted to get an early start.  Well, getting out the door so early didn't happen. In fact,  I thought it was going to be one of those stressful, "It's 10:25 and Chick-Fil-A stops serving breakfast at 10:30.  We have 5 minutes to get there!"  My husband loves a challenge.  We did arrive just in the nick of time.

Eventhough we are headed south on 75 instead of north the kids are completely oblivious.  Why? The kids are "plugged in."  You probably know what I'm talking about.  When they were little, as soon as the car was packed, the headphones went on and the DVD began playing.  The DVDs didn't stop until we pulled up in the driveway.  Now the earbuds are in everyone's ears.  They have their choice of games, movies, TVshows or music.  Not a peep from the back, although I wouldn't have been able to hear them anyway because my headphones were on.  Those earbuds are so uncomfortable.  None of the usual, "He's touching me."  "Well she's looking at me!"   8 hours of that.

Longing for a little human interaction, I took off my headphones and my husband followed suit.  We looked at each other in disbelief as we traveled farther south with billboard after billboard announcing how beautiful Florida is.  The peanut gallery is still quiet.  The farther we head south,  the more engrossed they are in their choice of electronic drug.  We pass advertising for the sunny Florida beaches, fruit stands, shell stands and still nothing from the back seat.  As we got closer to the Florida line, my husband and I would stifle our laughter but we really didn't have to.

Finally I could take it no longer.  We crossed the state line and exited to fill up the tanks, the car's and ours.  I even had to say,"Do you know where we are?"  My daughter came back with," Hopefully almost to Mama's and Papa's!"  I said no and were there any other guesses.  "Look around!"  I tell them hoping they will spot a sign or a palm tree.  Finally my son says, "Florida." I asked when he knew and as I had thought it was when we entered Valdosta, Ga, not too far from where we were.

They were both excited but not as excited as I would have thought until, ...