Saturday, April 30, 2011

Disney Part 3: We Are Officially Smoking

They weren't very excited about where we were until they really thought about why we in Florida.  We were going to Orlando-  Disney World!!  We thought we were awesome parents.  After hearing them moan and grown about not being able to go we were here.  No longer did my husband and I have to listen to " Well (so and so) is getting to go to Disney World and SeaWorld.  They have been there a bunch of times."  I think they were in shock that we were here.  We were here!

We find the management office where we check in.  No problem.   They were very nice and polite.  Pleased that everything was working out splendidly,  we hopped back into the van to make the trip to the condo. That's when the fun stopped. We are, at this point, so tired from the trip and helplessly dependent on HER.  You know HER.  Most of us have one that we use.  Yours might be a man but ours is female.  I'm talking about the GPS.   We begin our journey, our seemingly endless journey.  Our destination is right around the corner.

Along the way I keep thinking, "I've seen that building before.  Where have I seen that building?" The reason I thought I had seen that building before is because I HAD.  We were going in circles.  At first they were large circles and then they became smaller and smaller. It got to the point, after seeing "The Big Orange" for the 4th, yes 4th, time it became a joke.  We dubbed this convenience store "The Big Orange" because there was a big orange on top of the building.  I sure wish I would have snapped a picture of that place. It was quite the landmark, in more ways than one.

After several circles I couldn't stop the tears.  It became quite comical.   My belly and mouth were hurting from laughing so much.  Amazingly, after 323 circles, we pulled into the complex.  No need to ask for directions!  Who needs directions when you have such a fine piece of ____ electronic that would feed directions to you, any way you wanted.   I'm thinking that if we would have asked for directions from a human being, we wouldn't have had to make so many circles.  Well at least we now have the lay of the land.

We park the van and start to unload.  We are tired but eager to see where we would be staying for the next week.  From the outside it looked nice.  It was very beachy looking.  I do like the word so don't fault me for my adjectives.  As we opened the van doors the fun started.  My husband grabbed a couple of bags as well as  the key to our home for a week.  He unlocked the door as we are hit in the face with a stench that could only be one thing, smoke.  then it hit us.  It wasn't just a little smoke it was a wall of smoke.  Had we stood back from the door far enough we probably would have seen rolling out of the unit.

It wasn't just in the foyer, it was all through the unit.  All 5 rooms and 2 bathrooms!  No amount of fresh air and ceiling fan was going to take care of this.  If we were smokers we wouldn't have needed to light up.  We aren't smokers.  We are nonsmokers who requested a nonsmoking room.  UGH!!!!

We had to get out of that place!  We were tired and hungry.  Since we had to take ventilation of the condo into our own hands,  before we rested our weary bodies, we decided we needed to refuel.  Off to get some dinner.

It's nice that we got a lay of the land EARLIER but that didn't help in our quest for food.  The reason it didn't help is because we wanted Mexican.  Did we pass a Mexican restaurant in our hunt for smoke, no we didn't.  We had to ask HER for help again.  I said a little prayer.  Eventually we did find an awesome Mexican restaurant that we went back to later that week.

After dinner it was time to find a Target.  Nothing else will do especially when needing to purchase household items.  We had to invest in something to take care of the smokers paradise. Back in the day, finding any kind of store other than a convenience store, would be a challenge.  Lucky for me, Targets are everywhere.  Praise God!  We found one.

Now that we are all worked up,  my husband was on a mission.  Look out!  I love my husband to death but sometimes he goes into overkill mode when shopping for something.  Notice I said thing as in one item.  Don't get me wrong, my husband is very helpful.  He has been known to go to the store for me which is awesome.  If I were to say," Could you stop at the store and pickup a package of hotdogs?"  he is all over it.  In fact, he would come home with 10 packages of hotdogs.  Of those 10 packages 5 are different brands and 5 are different types.  "Why?" you say. I don't know.  Either there are too many choices or he wants to find the perfect hotdog.

Anyway,  on to find the perfect stinky air corrector.  2 hours later and we are done.  We come out of Target with solid freshener, spray freshener and deodorizer.  I thought to myself, here we go.  $20 on fresheners.  Apparently I didn't realize that the smell would reappear each day and the $20 was well spent.  Way to go honey!!    Any time we left the condo, we would have to spray again.  It became as automatic as filling up the washing machine with detergent or brushing your teeth before you go to bed or putting clothes on before you go outside.  You wouldn't think of going to your mailbox nude would you?   There was a solid freshener in every room, 6 fresheners in all.  We used the sprays as backups and the deodorizers to spray our clothes. All completely necessary.  Sorry for the doubt in my voice earlier.

When we returned home to Atlanta, and I opened my suitcase, the smoke had followed me home. There wasn't an article of clothing that didn't reek.   I was officially smoking :0) 

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